“Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.” — Benjamin Disraeli
In my day, little boys were taught to never cry. We were called a “cry baby” at the first sign of a tear. As we we got older, we were told to hold our feelings to ourselves. A gentleman never conveyed emotion.
Anger, loss, fear, and pain were all to be handled in the same way. Things have improved somewhat, or maybe they’ve gotten worse for some. It depends on your point of view.
I remember when one of my partners suggested that one of my firm’s first women lawyers be fired. What had she done? She had cried when he started screaming at her over a mistake in a document.
No one pointed out to the male lawyer that he thought it was okay to scream at an innocent mistake, but it wasn’t okay for a woman new to the legal profession to exhibit a honest expression of feelings.
I’m afraid the lesson learned by this young lawyer was not a good one — never express your feelings in front of others.
I am sure that each of you have your own story. I have lots.
Disraeli’s quote gave me pause to think. For his quote is about not apologizing as much as it is about expressing feelings.
What do you think about his words?
What I do know is these days we certainly could use a good healthy dose of truth.
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