Exercise For The Soul

It is Monday, and my meditations begin with pitchers who toss existential curveballs harder than Sandy Koufax or Sal Maglie.

It all started with a shower thought because where else do life’s greatest epiphanies occur?  You see, folks like me, on the “distinguished” side of the age spectrum, are constantly bombarded with articles about the importance of exercise to ward off the inevitable gremlins of aging. Apparently, rocking chairs on porches are considered out of date.

Anyway, back to my shower – does the soul need a workout routine too? Is mine in danger of becoming a spiritual version of my knees – creaky, achy, and harboring grudges older than dirt? Do souls, like fine wines, improve with age, or do they turn to spiritual vinegar without proper care?

And what exactly constitutes a soul-strengthening exercise program? Prayer reps? Meditation sets? Volunteer marathons?The possibilities were endless. Let’s face it, what good is an eternal soul if it spends its existence parked in a celestial wheel chair? Now, I know I’m probably anthropomorphizing the afterlife like a champ, but one thing’s for sure: I don’t want my eternal self to be one big regret about how I treated the only part of me that’s, well, eternal.

So, here’s to keeping my soul spry! Surely, if twelve minute chair yoga will give me a beach body, a few more prayer push ups and a daily meditative walk in the park should get my soul ready for the Olympics.