Ash Wednesday? It’s like the first day of school, but instead of new notebooks and pencils, you get a smudge of dirt on your forehead. And instead of fearing the cafeteria’s meatloaf, you’re dreading giving up that nightly pint of ice cream.
Remember those first days of school? You’d stride in, ready to conquer calculus and maybe even make friends with that guy who has the cool GTO. By lunchtime, you’ve already lost your new textbook, discovered your GTO friend reeks of cigarette smoke, and you are contemplating faking a stomach ache to go home.
Lent is exactly the same. You start with the best intentions! This year, you declare, “I’ll meditate daily, become a pillar of charitable works, and finally understand what ‘Revelations’ actually means!” Your prayer books are stacked high and in order, your sacrifice list is as long as a grocery receipt, and you’ve scheduled your first volunteer gig. You’re practically a saint!
Then, a week rolls around, and you find yourself negotiating with God: “Okay, maybe just one cookie? It’s practically a vegetable, right?” Your prayer books are now a leaning tower of ‘I’ll get to it tomorrow,’ and your volunteer gig? Turns out, helping at a cat shelter mostly involves dodging flying fur, cleaning out litter boxes, and explaining why you’re sneezing.
So, here’s my advice, which you’re welcome to ignore: If you’re going to Paris during Lent, don’t give up wine. Just call it “research.” If you’re driving a minivan full of sugar-fueled soccer demons, don’t expect a monastic retreat. And for the love of all that is holy, don’t try to read the Bible in the original Greek.
Instead, join me on this Lenten adventure! We’ll probably stumble, maybe cheat a little, and definitely have a few “oops, did I just eat that?” moments. But hey, at least we’ll be stumbling and cheating together. And who knows, maybe we’ll accidentally find God along the way.
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