“Out of Sorts” is a very descriptive phrase. One can use it when he/she is battling a cold or a minor bug or virus. I’ve used it when I can’t get settled into my writing or daily routine. I might say to Suzy, “I was out of sorts all day.” I don’t think it is a southern expression, but it could be, as it expresses a feeling of being uncomfortable, jittery, and just not 100%. Since the Star Wars movies it has been replaced with saying, “I feel a slight disturbance in the force.”
When one gets older you are told by everyone including AI to listen to your body, be on the lookout for changes or strange feelings, but I have a hard time distinguishing between a real physical problem and being “out-of-sorts.” For example, I have been out of sorts lately. I know it, but I know the cause, and it has nothing to do with my health. I’ve lost several friends lately — Fred, Kay, Henry, and Herbert. But it is more than that. When someone you care for leaves this realm for the next, one feels an absence, a hole. It will eventually be filled with memories and only the good parts of your relationship, but until the memories take over one is “out-of-sorts.”
The emptiness you feel—that hole—is a powerful, physical testament to the depth of your connection. This isn’t just a minor routine disturbance; this is the necessary work of the heart, responding to a significant season of loss.
My friend Henry used to preface an important point he was try to make by saying, “You’ve gotta know.” Well, “You’ve got to know that it is more than okay to feel unsettled and out-of-sorts in times of great loss. You are not battling a simple bug; you are navigating an experience of grief. The beautiful memories you anticipate—the good parts of your relationships—will eventually settle and grow sturdy enough to fill the void.
Until those memories truly take hold, treat this feeling of being out-of-sorts not as a physical problem to be solved or a failing to overcome, but as a gentle flag from your own heart. It is asking you for patience and self-compassion, acknowledging the gravity of what you have endured, and honoring the love you shared. This is a natural, difficult, and human process, and you deserve all the kindness in the world as you walk through it.
It is okay to be out-of-sorts from time to time. It is a natural part of a process we all go through.
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