How do we reconcile with someone who we dislike with a passion, or is absolutely dead wrong on an issue, or is convinced the only way to reconcile is to become one of them?
Good question.
The starting point involves seeing your protagonist as having value, as one who is traveling a similar journey just on a different path. It also involves mutual trust. That is why good negotiators begin with making a concession or two to give the other side the sense that one is acting in good faith. In a marriage or a personal relationship it often begins with an apology, an “I’m sorry,” or “I was wrong.”
Reconciliation begins when we stop seeing each other as enemies or protagonists, and start to see them as neighbors, relations, or simply as human, flawed just like we are flawed. Another beginning is not only being prepared to listen, but being prepared to speak as well. Thoughtful speaking can show that you are listening. Listening and speaking are critical to understanding another, it is through such a process that we develop a relationship with someone who is different than you, but on a similar journey — a journey into uncertainty.
Leave a Reply +