I’ve discovered that the lifelong fear of grief keeps us in a barren, isolated place and that only grieving can heal grief. — Anne Lamott
Ms. Lamott goes on to say that time will lessen the acuteness, but will not heal grief. I am one of those people who is pretty helpless when someone is suffering from a tragic loss or grieving. The best I’m good for is a warm hug. I am certainly not one to try to engage in a conversation such as asking, “Are you grieving yet?
I’m also not sure I am very good at grieving. I grew up in an era where young boys were told “real men don’t cry,” and “don’t ever show anyone how you really feel.” I am pretty sure the way I deal with grief is unhealthy, and I will never write a book on “How to grieve and win friends and influence people.”
What I usually do do, and it seems to help is to go off at some point away from the grieving parties and the table full of casseroles and chess pies, and have a private conversation with God. Only to him can I say I am sad and lost without my friend, parent, or just the presence of an acquaintance. And after those moments of quiet conversation, I would have a sense of the finality of the loss — whatever I felt, whatever I thought, or tried to do, I couldn’t undo the loss, but I could continue on and receive illumination. Illumination in the sense that we have to endure loss and grieve in any form we deal with it, in order to soften.
Life makes us hard, but loss helps us soften. A thought I leave you with for your meditation and comment if you desire.
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