My daughter and I heard Glennon Doyle Melton talk Friday night. Besides having the wonderful experience of being practically the only man in a room full of one thousand women, I enjoyed myself thoroughly and know what it must feel to be in the audience during a taping of Oprah.
She was asked a question by a woman who was obviously in a lot of pain because one her best friend’s child had committed suicide. She wanted to know what to say to her friend.
I wish I could remember Glennon’s exact words in response, but her message was clear — there are no right or wrong words in times like those. It’s one’s presence that counts. Avoiding the friend because you don’t know what to say creates a second loss for the friend.
I spent the weekend pondering the question and Glennon’s answer, then I heard this morning that my old colleague, Janet Reno, died.
We suffer grief because there was once love, and we feel love’s absence when there is a loss. In Janet’s case, she was probably as honest a person as I have ever run across. She was a tower of personal integrity, and whether you agreed with her or not on an individual matter, there was never a question of motive or agenda.
Her qualities never go out of style. I have not seen Janet in many years, but even so I miss often the honesty, the integrity, the humor, and the tower of strength and Everglades wisdom she brought to the Department of Justice.
She used to say often when asked what she was going to do in a very difficult situation “I’m going to do the right thing,” and would tell others to do the same. It’s too long a story to tell you the origin of that phrase, but it is a memory I hold close today especially.
We often complicate life. Today is reminder to simply “do the right thing.”
Goodbye, friend.
Leave a Reply +