I am writing this on my laptop sitting in my backyard drinking a beer and listening to Sam Cooke on my Ipod after a very difficult week at work.
Yesterday I found out that I was passed over for a promotion at work in favor of someone else. Needless to say I came home yesterday in a mood similar to what Winston Churchill used to describe as “the black dog.” I felt lost, annoyed, disrespected, jealous, and most of all, I felt very alone.
Then an amazing thing happened. I met my wife for dinner, and she thought no less of me because I wasn’t the new manager of financial systems. And I picked up my sons and all they seemed to care about was which book we would read together tonight, they had no interest in the decisions that our accounting director is making. Their love for me was, and remains, unconditional. And in that sense, they are like God. In this way the unconditional love of a wife, or a son, or a parent is the true manifestation of heaven on earth.
My wife thinks that I am being sent a message. That God has something else in mind for me and it doesn’t involve Sarbanes-Oxley compliance. I’m starting to believe she may be right. Dad said yesterday “Too often we focus too much on the sacrifice part. By gritting our teeth and becoming as strong as we can be, we donÂ‚t let something be done for us that is more wonderful still”
Sitting outside on a Friday afternoon listening to the birds and enjoying respite from the week, I find myself mediating on what God’s call to me might be and I think I am starting to hear what Sam Cooke is singing when he says,
“There have been times that I thought I couldn’t last for long But now I think I’m able to carry on It’s been a long time, but I know A change is gonna come, oh yes it will”
Dear Web, thanks so much for this note of inspiration. As a fellow
parishoner and former Joanne Hutton EFMer. I am glad to be included in your
Lenten messages. I have been in the center of illness for almost a year. I
am beginning to look and feel better yet my cancer continues to spread.
Today I am going on my first overnight since last May with a group of
remarkable women that I have known since the 7th grade. As a widow whose
children are grown, they have provided a constant circle of unconditional
love for me these many months. Their friendship has taught me to value the
simple things in life – a beautiful gift since my former life allowed little
room for quiet reflection and companionship. Why is that even though we have
learned the lessons of love and family do we still keep trying to go back to
what we used to know and competition? I will chew on Sam Cooke’s words in
the car today, and hold on tight to a belief that things are about to
change. Sending you God’s great love. Linda