Every day I find it more and more difficult not to give in to cynicism. To lose patience and faith in the greater good of those around me, whether my fellow man or even some who are close to me. It seems as if everyone has an agenda these days, nothing is done without an attitude of quid pro quo.
Even my children are not immune. “Please go clean up your room” is met with “why now, what do I get for it?”. Sometimes even the most common place of tasks, “Please put on you socks?” is an adventure in negotiation that can last all morning.
And so it is even with God. I am more impatient with God more than I care to admit. I often look around and say, when is it my turn? When will some luck or good fortune come my way. On larger scale I ask God, how much longer are you going to let this last? whether it is Iraq or Darfur or global warming or any number of abuses of humanity and environment by man, I ask God. What is you plan? How can this possibly be happening?
CS Lewis wrote “What would really satisfy us would be a God who said of anything we happened to like doing, What does it matter as long as they are contented?”
But he goes on later to say “Since I have reason to believe, nevertheless, that God is Love, I conclude that my conception of love needs correction.”
So on even the most difficult days, when my faith is tested, and my understanding of God’s love is misguided, I must simply ask for God’s patience and forgiveness. And I hope that one day I will come to a greater understanding of his Love.