I would like to report that my emotions right now are a flat line. No ups or downs. That’s not how it works. The phone rings and I flinch with anticipation that it might be the hospital saying come in. It turns out to be a solicitation and my response may not reflect my normal generous demeanor. Suzy and my children have coined the phrase when I am less patient than I should as “dad’s toxins are flaring.”
Perhaps this a grander test of faith than the impending surgery itself. Can I find the strength and faith to believe that “all will be well.” Can I take the arm of God and walk for a little ways comforted simply by the companionship. I need to ask God to help me with the simpler things. Let me be patient, let me smell the honeysuckle, and let me appreciate the love, prayers and support of friends and family.
I need to remember that if I can help those who are around me wanting to help, I am helping myself. We will begin to share a mutual faith that the more we notice and deal with the normal every day aspects of life, the more we prepare ourselves for the abnormal. There is nothing that can disturb us if we appreciate what has already be given us every day.