It has been too long dear friend, I hope you and Casey are
doing well and had a wonderful Easter. Do Sufi’s have Easter Egg hunts? I bet
they do as much as they seem to enjoy life, and at the Easter Egg hunt we went
to with Lila there were plenty of 2 year
old “whirling dervishes.” I write to extend an invitation, let me explain.
Now that the Lenten season is over you might ask how am I
different, what did I accomplish, did the fasting, prayer and meditation bring
you new insights or revelations? I cannot pin it to Lent as much as a time a
year ago that even I knew something was wrong with me. Things that Suzy had
noticed for over several years started being undeniable to even “clueless me.” Next
week will mark my first anniversary of entering the hospital for the first time
to be told I was failing, and I would need a transplant to live. Or at least for the first time, I realized
that was what they were saying. A lot has happened since then and you know my
story. I won’t bore you with repeating it, but I cannot help but think that to
some extent, I am now in a place where your Sufi faith describes as “experienced a descent into existence.”
What do I mean by this phrase? After my surgery, I became stirred
for something I cannot even put a name to this day. As I would take those first
walks around my home, I started a discovery of myself that continues today. I
started a dialogue with myself about the nature of reality. Although weak from
surgery, I have the same body ( except the new liver), personality,
relationships, responsibilities as before, but my experience of these
circumstances has shifted rather dramatically. I am seeing with new lens, and I
am still trying to bring them into focus.
My Lenten experience this year was that of an Archeologist
who picks slowly of layer upon layer of stone and gravel seeking something but he
knows not what it might be. I benefited during the end of Lent from my travels
throughout the South of my youth and young adulthood and visits with friends
and family. They brought a lot into focus, but I still have a lot of work to
do. I continue to pick at the stones with eagerness, but still little clue of
what if anything lies buried.
As you can see I am still struggling, but I hope you will
bear with me in my struggles. Let’s go on a dig together.
Your Friend, Webb