Right before my recent two week sabbatical, I had one of those nights that was best described centuries earlier as a “dark night of my soul.” I tossed and turned with the would’ves and should’ves of my life. That night I had a hard time understanding the comforting words “all be well.” Several days later when I finally mustered the courage to answer Suzy’s question what was bothering me, she said, “Boy, you held one hell of a pity party.”
If I could always understand at every point in my life that “all will be well” or “all is good,” I would have no excuse for anxiety. It is always my failure of faith or distrust of good that is the root cause of my dark nights. God is the imminent good. His spirit pervades the universe. If I can remember that those failures and would’ves are just part of my spiritual development then I can rest knowing “all will be well.”
One of our Sufi teachers has a PhD in physics, reads 10 books a day, and has an absolutely amazing mind. He says that physics tells us (quoting David Bohm, a quantum physicist) that the wave from the future is actually stronger than that from the past by a factor of 10… but that most of us bring forward our fears, failures, and mistakes from the past and basically relive them…over and over. He points out that our past mistakes, choices, etc., are no longer good or bad, right or wrong… they are just our interpretations. They are the past and are no longer with us if we just stop reliving them. He says “the present is the point of power.” To be present in the moment and inviting “surprises” is a powerful way to take on life.
Oh, about reading 10 books a day… he reads and retains each page at a glance, and says that any of us are capable of that… we can actually read a page upside down in a glance… we have that capability but tell ourselves it isn’t possible. Interesting!