There are certain phrases that have snuck their way into our language much like the armadillo has found its way from Texas to North Carolina’s highways. The phrases themselves are deceptive: “side effects,” “collateral damage,” and “friendly fire” are but a few examples. They are linguistic anesthesia, designed to make us ignore or minimize consequences that can actually be devastating.
I went to the doctor this week to complain about the “side effects” of a prescription. I told him the damage the drug did was worse than the ailment it was supposed to treat. He laughed, offered a new prescription, and casually warned me to watch out for this drug’s side effects, too. It made me wonder: can’t they just make something that does exactly what it promises, and nothing more?
Perhaps the lesson is that our language is fundamentally dishonest about how the world works. We invent words like “side effect” or “collateral damage” to compartmentalize our lives, desperately trying to separate the things we want from the chaos they cause. But nature doesn’t keep two separate ledgers. Every action is a package deal. The pill doesn’t know which of its effects we chose to print on the front of the bottle; to the body, it is all just one single, inescapable reality.
In economics it’s the law of unintended consequences.
They will get you every time. How’s being home and close to the grandchildren?