You suggest I begin my journey with no preconceived notions about myself. In your Sufi wisdom, you say that I need to find that place in my heart where the yes and no of my being merge into unity. Now I am not sure precisely what you mean, but I understand that over time we develop an image of ourselves that may not be our true identity.
The son of a great athlete struggles with expectations that he will excel like his father , even though he has talents and passions of his own. The daughter of a gifted singer has a fine voice, but will not sing because it is not her mother’s. In both cases, the child denies himself the pleasure of the sport or the joy of song. I am sure we both know hundreds of examples where people internalize a “no” where there true idenity should respond with a “yes.”
Likewise, we all say “yes” to circumstances that are not really part of our true being. We work in a job that makes us miserable; we succumb to peer pressure against our better judgment; or we treat people contrary to what our heart tells us is right. Thus I understand your suggestion that before I begin my journey I needs to learn my own true identity, the one given to me by God at birth; so that when choices arise I will know how what truly resonates with my innermost being.
During this this period of taking a deep breath I will try to release everything I think I know about myself. Perhaps as a result I will find a few gems that have been buried for a long time, and I can draw on that newfound treasure to provide me the capital for my new beginning.